


One Hundred Ways to Say "I Love You"

by madam_wakefield



Category: Holby City
Genre: Domestic, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, F/F, Family, Fluff, Minor Character Death, One Shot Collection, Romance, collection of drabbles, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2019-07-06 14:31:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15887946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madam_wakefield/pseuds/madam_wakefield
Summary: Based off a tumblr Post 100 One Hundred Ways to Say "I Love You". One shots of the different ways in which Berena show their love for one another.





	1. 1. "Pull over. Let me drive for a while."

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I have written FF and this is the first time I've ever written for these lovely ladies. Saw the tumblr post and just feel in love with it for our girls! Comments are lovely and make me smile :)

Serena watches Bernie yawn in the driver’s seat. The two of them had been at a conference all day, and Bernie even spoke about the benefits of frontline techniques in trauma surgery. Bernie also unfortunately had the late shift the night before the conference. 

She’d been fine this morning, always the earlier riser of the two of them anyway and had insisted on taking her car. Serena had given in easily since Bernie’s car is definitely the more comfortable of the two. 

They’d arrived at the conference early, allowing Bernie to meet with the organisers to finalise the details for her speech. They had both spent the day mostly apart, listening to different presentations that fitted well with their own specialities in medicine, but of course, Serena had found time to listen to Bernie, smiling brightly at just how proud her partner made her. 

But now it’s almost 7pm, and they are both ready to go home and order a takeaway. The late night and early morning are clearly catching up with Bernie who yawns again, eyes firmly concentrating on the road. Serena isn’t sure how exactly Bernie ended up being the one driving as they left the conference, probably just by default since it’s her car, but right now it seems anything but fair. 

Serena sees a sign for the services two miles ahead and makes the split second decision. 

“Pull over. Let me drive for a while.” 

Bernie glances over at her quickly before focusing her eyes back on the road. “It’s fine, love, we’ve both had a busy day. I don’t mind continuing.” 

“Bernie,” Serena says softly. “We’ve both had a busy day but I wasn’t the one up until almost midnight last night. I was fast asleep by the time you got home. Please, just let me drive.”

It’s quiet after that, Bernie doesn’t comment and just continues driving. Serena knows that Bernie heard her, though, when she indicates as they come to the next services. 

Serena reaches the driver’s side while Bernie is still unbuckling herself and decides to save her the effort, pulling the door open for her. Bernie stands and catches Serena as she passes, planting a gentle kiss against Serena’s cheek. “I love you and thank you,” she says gently with a smile that has Serena smiling back. 

“You’re welcome and I love you too,” Serena replies, gently squeezing Bernie’s hand as they part and she climbs into the driver’s seat. Bernie doesn’t sleep on the way home, and likely never will when Serena is driving, always wanting to keep her company. But she does allow herself to relax, and for Serena that’s enough, to know that her decision to ask Bernie to allow her to drive was the right one. And if when they arrive home, Serena doesn’t let Bernie lift a finger, well, who can blame her? Bernie is the woman she loves after all.


	2. 2. "It Reminded Me Of You"

Bernie arrives at Holby slightly early, dropping by Pulses to pick up two coffees, strong and hot. She swipes herself into AAU and walks to the office, hoping to surprise Serena when she arrives.

It’s been a long week and they’ve been on alternate shifts and opposite days off all week. They haven’t seen each other for more than ten minutes for days, so who can blame her if she wants to catch five minutes with her girlfriend before the start of their shifts? It isn’t like they haven’t kissed in the office before.

However, Bernie’s plans seem to have failed as she walks into the office and sees Serena already standing there. She recovers quickly and walks over to place a kiss against Serena’s lips. “I brought you coffee, thought you might appreciate it at this time in the morning.”

It’s only when she bends down to place the coffee on Serena’s desk—there’s no point handing it to her it’s too hot to drink—that she notices the cuddly wolf that definitely wasn’t there yesterday.

‘What in the hell is THAT?” she asks Serena, horrified. Serena is definitely not one for cuddly toys, especially on her desk.

“I got it at the zoo yesterday when I took the Fletchings. I’d been promising them for weeks,” Serena explains as if that answers the question. For Bernie, it definitely doesn’t.

She steps back towards Serena who has now sat in one of the visitor chairs and she sits in the other. Bernie takes hold of her girlfriend’s hand, just because she can. “Yes, I do remember about the zoo, you wanted me to come, but while you were busy buying hideous fluffy toys, I was here working a double shift. Still doesn’t answer the question though, Campbell, what in the hell is it??”

It is silent for a second too long, and Bernie looks at Serena’s face, noticing that she looks, if possible, slightly shy and wonders what Serena isn’t telling her. Just as Bernie is expecting not to get an answer and is about to give up by starting on the mountain of paperwork on her desk, Serena answers her. “I missed you, I know how much you had wanted to come, and it reminded me of you.” 

Bernie should want to question Serena’s sanity, ask who’s abducted her girlfriend, but she can’t. Instead her heart feels like it’s about to burst, because, while on a day filled with four very crazy and hyper children, Serena had still thought of her. Being Bernie Wolfe, she doesn’t know how to put that into words, so instead spends the next five minutes kissing her girlfriend instead.


	3. 3. "No, no it's my treat"

It’s been a tough day, and it’s not even close to ending. Serena and Bernie had arrived at work together that morning just to be greeted to the sound of the red phone. A construction site scaffolding collapse had lead to AAU being inundated with trauma patients. They’d tried their best, worked tirelessly, but they still lost two of the four injured workers.

Losing a patient isn’t easy on any doctor, but for some reason Bernie takes it harder than most. Serena isn’t sure if it’s because of her time in the Army or something else, but Bernie always finds loss incredibly tough.

Serena comes back to their office, having checked on the first of the patients that had successfully come out of theatre. She sees Bernie sat at her desk, looking to most like she’s completing paperwork. Serena knows better, though, knows her eyes aren’t scanning quiet fast enough for her to really be reading. Instead Serena knows Bernie is replaying the surgeries over in her head, wondering if there is anything she could have done in either case to change the outcome. There wasn’t anything more either of them could have done, they were fighting a losing battle from the start.

Serena walks over and places her hand on Bernie’s shoulder, squeezing it gently to get her attention and waits until Bernie looks up at her before she speaks, constantly keeping eye contact. “We couldn’t have done anything more, neither of us could. You know their injuries were just too severe, Bernie.”

Bernie nods in return, but it’s clipped and short, and the look in her eyes tells Serena that Bernie just needs a break. It’s well past lunch time, but Serena decides that for ten minutes everything can wait. Ward rounds can wait, paperwork can wait. Bernie needs her.

“Come on,” she says, stepping back, spinning Bernie’s chair to face her and offering a hand to help her up. Bernie takes it and pulls herself to her feet. Serena links their hands, long past worried about what any rumour mill of Holby City Hospital may have to say about their relationship.

She gestures to Raf that the two of them are popping out to Pulses, knowing they both need caffeine and something to eat and that Raf can easily hold the fort for that long.

They place their orders, and when Bernie orders a double shot, something she doesn’t ever do unless she’s on a nightshift, Serena knows Bernie needed this break. Bernie adds a pan au chocolate to the end of their order and goes to pay for everything. When Serena thinks about it, though, somehow it’s often Bernie that pays for their coffee. Serena acts quickly and gently pushes Bernie’s hand away.

“No, no, it’s my treat,” she says, smiling softly in Bernie’s direction.

They find a table in the corner to drink their coffees, since Serena knows if they are needed on the ward, someone will page them. They eat in silence, as no words are needed because they understand each other so well without them. Their hands brush occasionally when they reach for their coffees and food, and it pulls small smiles from both of them.

All too soon their break must come to an end. As much as the ward can last without them for a little while, rounds can’t wait forever.

“Thank you,’ Bernie says gently, placing a kiss to Serena’s cheek as they stand to head back to AAU, feeling slightly lighter, and to the relief of both of them, the rest of the shift passes without issue.


	4. 4. "Come Here. Let Me Fix It."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly more AU with the fact that Bernie is in the military and with Serena. My head canon for this is from a different fic I am currently writing where Bernie goes back to the army (but in a totally AU world where Eleanor Campbell doesn't die!)

Bernie knows Serena is nervous. She remembers feeling physically sick her own first time in the Officers’ Mess. There isn’t anything quite like it anywhere else: prescribed formal dress, standing before being told to sit, assigned places in an even more strict arrangement than a wedding. There’s no denying that the British Army is still very focused on classes.

Bernie is sat on a stool at the vanity since she can’t risk sitting on the bed and creasing her dress uniform. She’d learnt, to her detriment as a new officer, that the skirts crease far too easily and the amount she’d been forced to spend on emergency dry cleaning had not been pleasant. So the stool will have to do while she ensures her court shoes are shined to perfection.

She sees Serena walk into the room, dressed in the beautiful burgundy dress that just reaches the floor, now fully made up. Serena always insists the lighting in the bathroom be much better for applying her make up. Whilst Serena is normally the one of them who takes the longest to get ready, they’d agreed that because Bernie is needed in full dress uniform, that it was best she use the bathroom first.

Bernie gets distracted by her polishing as Serena stands at their full length mirror and begins to brush her hair. “Aren’t those shoes shiny enough? You’ve spent an hour on them every day for the past three days.”

Bernie catches Serena’s eyes in the mirror. “Probably, but I just want to be sure, it’s been a long time since I’ve been inside an Officers’ Mess.” 

Serena smiles at her gently. She knows Serena understands that she is nervous too. Some of the people they will see have known Bernie since she joined the Army, so everything is going to be similar, and yet all so different. She divorced the man she had taken to every Officers Mess dinner since the start of her Army career and is now taking her girlfriend. 

She isn’t ashamed of what she and Serena have and she loves Serena with every part of being, but that doesn’t mean that this is a normal situation. There are many fewer female officers and so it is rare enough for a female officer to be in attendance with her male civilian partner, but for Bernie to be turning up with a female civilian partner may well be a first at this specific Mess. She will take Serena and introduce her proudly as her girlfriend, but the unknown adds to her nerves. And as if Serena knows what she’s thinking, she speaks again.

“Hey, everything will be fine. These are the people that called you back to the Army after you’d been gone for three years. Now put those shoes on before you shine a hole in them.” Bernie realises then that she had started unknowingly polishing the shoes again.

She bends down, careful of her uniform, and places the shoes on the floor before slipping her feet into them and rearranges her skirt properly around them, checking again that her uniform is perfect. Just as she’s finishing, she hears an uncharacteristic sigh come from Serena and sees her struggling to get a pin into her hair. The angle is slightly wrong for her arm and she’s not quite able to see it in mirror.

“Come here. Let me fix it,” Bernie says gently to Serena, holding out her hand and waiting for Serena to pass her the hair pin. Serena turns and gives it to her with a smile, before turning back around so Bernie can slide it into her hair, holding the brunette strands perfectly into place.

“Stay there,” she says gently when she’s finished before walking over to the vanity and grabbing the hairspray. “Close your eyes,” she says kindly before carefully spraying the hairspray over Serena’s hair.

She places the can on the floor and places her hands on Serena’s shoulders, gently spinning her around. “Beautiful,” she says, looking directly into Serena’s eyes, returning her beautiful smile. Bernie can’t help but place a gentle kiss on Serena’s lips.

“I could say the same for you,” Serena says as they pull back. “You brush up very well, Major Wolfe.” Serena gently swipes her hands down the sleeves of Bernie’s dress jacket which Bernie uses as the perfect excuse to grab Serena’s hand.

“Are you ready? I’m sure the taxi will be here any time now.” Serena nods. “Yes, I’ve heard a do at the Officers’ Mess is pretty unique, so lead the way, Major.”

The night goes amazingly well. Serena hardly leaves Bernie’s side, and Bernie is very happy showing off the amazing woman she gets to call hers. The drinks flow freely and they slow dance together, with not one person giving them a second glance. It’s past 3am when they both fall into bed together, Serena’s head resting against Bernie’s chest and both of them falling asleep with smiles on their faces.


	5. 5. "I'll Walk You Home"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another little one shot of our two favourite ladies. Thank you to everyone who has left lovely comments on these one shots so far it really does mean so much. I am also always open to prompts so feel free to send any my way.

They hadn’t meant to spend so long at Albie’s. Fletch and Raf had invited them both along after what had been a rather enjoyable day at work. Serena texted Jason and asked him to get his own supper tonight. He’s gotten better about that since Bernie’s been around and is used to her sometimes taking up Serena’s time on a Friday night. Bernie didn’t really have any plans for the evening either so she’d agreed too. It’s nice working in a place where she feels part of a team since it reminds her of her Army days in the best way.

They hadn’t however expected to still be in Albie’s as last orders are called, having shared two bottles of wine between the two of them.

Bernie watches as Serena laughs at the awful joke Fletch just made, one she would just roll her eyes at were she sober. And that thought in her own not-so-very-sober state has her laughing along, making a sound that Serena often kindly tells her reminds her of a goose.

Serena’s eyes meet hers across the table and Bernie just laughs louder at the look on her face. Bernie never expected to be this happy. Not when she got married, knowing she was a lesbian but unable to admit it, not when she slept with Alex in the middle of the desert, not when her world came crashing down around her when Marcus found out about it all and used her kids against her during their divorce. But here she is, with her girlfriend and their friends laughing about god only knows what and everything feels exactly how it’s meant to.

Lou comes back from the bar and hands Bernie a whiskey—Bernie always has whiskey as her last drink if they are around for last orders.

Once everyone has a drink, Bernie decides in her alcohol-fueled condition that they need a toast. “To amazing friendships!” she says, lifting her glass, and watching hazily as the rest of her colleagues follow suit. Bernie feels Serena’s hand squeeze her thigh, and rests her empty hand on top of it, looking up to smile at her.

“Mixing whiskey and wine, Wolfe. You sure that’s a good idea? Doesn’t someone have the joy of a late shift tomorrow?” 

“Don’t rub it in, we all know you have a glorious weekend off, while I managed to land a Saturday late followed by a Sunday early. But all the more reason to enjoy this, I say,” she gestures, lifting her glass to her lips.

They both join in the conversation again after that. Fletch is talking about how Theo decided that he was going to get hold of the bubble bath and tip a full bottle into the bath and how the bathroom had been turned into a bubble explosion. Serena offers a story of the time she walked in from work to find Edward fast asleep on the sofa with Elinor smearing Sudocream all over their brand new television. Bernie has to share the time that she’d left Cameron and Charlotte in the living room for two minutes while she went to heat a bottle and had come back to find her delightful toddler had got hold of the felt tips and literally coloured in his sister. 

At the story she can’t help but miss her kids. Cameron messages her occasionally but they don’t really have a relationship and Charlotte won’t even so much as exchange a single word with her. She stops herself from getting sad, however, when Fletch pipes back in that Mikey had done something very similar to Ella when they were younger but had instead used paint.

Soon the stories have ended and the drinks are gone and they know they have to leave Albie’s before they get kicked out. Bernie knows they haven’t got any hope in getting a taxi at this time on a Friday night. Standing outside they share hugs and goodbyes with the rest of the team before Bernie turns to Serena.

“Come on, no point trying to get a taxi at this time of night. I’ll walk you home.” In place of a verbal reply Serena takes hold of Bernie’s hand and begins in the direction of her home. And Bernie thinks not for the first time that night that life is exactly how it should be.


	6. 6. "Have A Good Day At Work"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say a big thank you to every single one of you that has left wonderful comments on this fic so far. Every single one of them is much appreciated so thank you so much. Just a short bit of fluff from our two favourite ladies this time.

The noise of the alarm startles her at first. She doesn’t remember setting it and knows she doesn’t have to work today, so she quickly reaches out and shuts it off. Then she hears the soft groan from the other side of the bed and remembers exactly why there is an alarm going off.

Bernie had stayed unexpectedly last night. She’d come over for dinner and since they’d somehow decided that one glass of wine wasn’t enough. Serena was unwilling to let Bernie drive on more than a glass and had invited her to stay. Unfortunately, Bernie is on a double shift today.

She watches as Bernie surfaces from under the covers, unruly hair sticking up at all angles and can’t help but find it adorable, can’t help but lean in for a quick kiss before Bernie gets out of bed.

“Sorry,” Bernie mumbles as they pull away. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” Serena knows she didn’t, she always goes out of her way to ensure Serena stays fast asleep when they are on opposite shifts and one of them has stayed over at the other’s place.

“I’ll forgive you. Now, go get showered before you’re late. Please don’t leave our wonderful ward at the mercy of just the F1s. I’m sure it’d be on its knees in seconds.” They both enjoy training the F1s but it’s tiring in those first weeks, especially when it's their first ever rotation. No AAU without one or the other of them is a recipe for disaster. That and the fact that there is no way the F1s could deal with an actual trauma call.

She must’ve dozed back off because the next thing she feels is Bernie placing a kiss on her forehead which means she is dressed and ready to leave. Serena can feel the hall light shining gently against her eyelids but can’t bring herself to open them and be faced with it just yet. Just as she hears Bernie’s footsteps walking towards the bedroom door, she whispers, “Have a good day at work,” before almost instantly falling back to sleep, forehead tingling gently where Bernie had just kissed it and with a small smile on her lips.


	7. 7. "I dreamt about you last night"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of fluff after whatever Tuesday nights Holby episode was

Bernie’s side of the bed is empty when Serena wakes up. She turns over to snuggle with her, hoping to lull herself back to sleep at the rise and fall of her lover’s chest. Bernie always sleeps on her back and Serena loves the fact she can turn over at any time and place her head on Bernie’s chest. Except Bernie’s side of the bed is cold which means she’s already been up for a while.

Serena stretches before climbing out of bed, placing her feet into her slippers and slipping into her white fluffy dressing gown. She shuffles gently down the stairs trying to locate her girlfriend, wondering just how long she’s actually been awake.

She finds her in the kitchen, dressed in her running gear. How she can go running when it’s minus 2 degrees outside, Serena isn’t sure. And before Serena can say anything to that effect, she is handed a steaming cup of coffee. Damn Bernie and her military hearing, always knowing when Serena is about to appear downstairs from the way their bedroom floorboard creaks just by the door.

“Morning, darling. I was actually just about to bring this up to you, but seeing as you are here, you saved me the trip.”

“Thank you,” Serena replies, placing a kiss against Bernie’s lips. She tastes like coffee and banana, so she has definitely already been for her run then. “How long have you been awake?” she questions gently, wondering just what unearthly time Bernie got up to run. 

She watches as Bernie looks at her watch, “About three hours, woke up just after 6 and couldn’t get back to sleep. Didn’t want to wake you so decided to get up and go for a run. Was out just over an hour. As I said, I was making this coffee and then I was coming back to join you.” Serena feels Bernie’s arm close around her waist and allows herself to be pulled against her lover, allows Bernie to kiss her gently before pulling away with a frown.

“What’s that for?” Bernie questions, puzzled, running her thumb along the creases on Serena’s forehead. 

“I’m angry with you,” She says too softly for it to hold any real malice. “I dreamt about you last night. Already being awake you have spoilt all hopes of making that dream a reality. I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed,” Serena finishes with a pout, and gets the desired effect when Bernie learns forward to kiss it away. Serena responds enthusiastically. She’ll never tire of kissing Bernie even if she had ruined her breakfast plans.

“How about we go get showers and I take you out for brunch at that little cafe you love down by the river, my treat. Then tomorrow I promise to stay in bed so you can make good on your dream of breakfast in bed?” 

“Sounds perfect.” And it is.


	8. 8. "Take My Seat"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just more fluff

Bernie winces as the train jolts slightly to the right. She’s got her hand on the back of Serena’s seat so she doesn’t fall, but that doesn’t mean the jarring doesn’t hurt her already sensitive back. 

She and Serena had spent a wonderful weekend in London, Serena’s idea, for a bit of time to themselves and also to allow them to complete their Christmas shopping for their children: Jason (not officially, but he’s basically like their child in so many ways), Greta and Guinevere. Guinevere was easy as the four-year-old was very vocal about exactly what she wanted. Choosing for the others had been a nightmare though, with both Serena and Bernie swearing blind that children close to thirty were so much harder to satisfy than the teenagers they used to have to buy for. 

They’d travelled down on the train since neither of them fancied the long drive, especially at this time of year. They’d splurged on the lush five star hotel, allowing themselves the luxury of a swim in the morning. Significant looks were exchanged when the receptionist had pointed out the possibility, both taken back to a time six years before when Serena had said the exactly same words to Bernie. They certainly had never expected to be in a similar situation again, having been together almost as long. 

They’d spent almost all of Saturday wandering around the Winter Wonderland. Bernie managed to find a few small items for Charlotte. It had been a few years since she’d had the chance, but she is so thankful that her daughter was talking to her again so she never took a single second they spent together for granted. They get each of their families personalised tree decorations, stockings above a miniature fireplaces: three stockings for Jason, Greta and Guinevere, and two for Cameron and Morven, though they are tempted to three for the latter since it likely won’t be long until Cameron and Morven have their own little bundle. Charlotte actually gets the most, four stockings; since Bernie and Serena know they won’t hear the end of it if each of the dogs doesn’t get its own stocking. 

Knowing they shouldn’t have, maybe they ended up in the ice bar, but Serena had twisted her arm, desperate to try a Shiraz in such circumstances. There are still so many times Bernie finds it impossible to say no to Serena. 

They had dinner and enjoyed the theatre, although it’s not something Bernie had done many times before, her army days never really giving her the time. Maybe Bernie spends a lot of the time starting at Serena but she’s beautiful, the way her eyes light up as they follow the action on the stage. 

On Sunday they finish shopping even though it’s even colder than they expected and doesn’t get above freezing all day. Bernie has to ask for them to take an extra break, back aching and in the need to just warm up. Serena ends up offering a gentle massage over her coat, then pulls some of Bernie’s prescription codeine out of her bag, always the more organised of the two. Bernie took them and proceeded to forget about her back pain as they continue around the shops in London.

They’d grabbed an early dinner before heading to the station for their train that had been timed to ensure they are home before 9pm since they both had to work the next day. They’d arrived fifteen minutes early only to find that their train is delayed, thankfully only by thirty minutes, but it allows them time to grab a coffee. However, as they were sat in the small coffee shop on the platform, the crackly announcement came over the tannoy that the train was completely cancelled which is what lead to their current situation. 

The only available train was totally packed. They’d managed to grab a single seat, taking it rather than trying in vain to look for any more and, Bernie being Bernie, had, of course, offered it to Serena. 

She winces again as the train joltes to a stop; too busy in her musings to realise they were nearing a station. She glances out the window noticing they are at Swindon, still around fifty minutes until they get home. She just hopes she can hold out until then. She’s so busy staring out of the window that she doesn’t notice Serena looking up at her from the book she’s been reading. Her face forms a grimace against her will as the train pulls out of the station. Although she knows it’s an expected side effect of the IED, it’s been a while since her back has played up this bad, and that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sometimes come at the worst possible times. 

“Bernie, darling, take my seat,” Serena says and Bernie looks down in time to see her rising out of the seat so she doesn’t have the chance to argue. “You should have told me your back was playing up and I would have told you to take the seat. You don’t always have to be so chivalrous.” Bernie smiles as Serena places a gentle kiss against her cheek, neither of them having any reservations about showing their affection for each other, people’s opinions be damned. 

And for once she doesn’t argue, knowing that if she doesn’t sit down she will not be in state to go into surgery the next day. She sits down and it’s not long before she feels Serena’s fingers against her back, massaging gently against the tender spot, 6 years having given her the knack of hitting just the right place. Her hand stays there for the rest of the journey home, gently trying to work out the pain, and Bernie is so thankful for such an amazing partner. 

The next morning the trauma phone rings just ten minutes after they arrive at work and Bernie spends over five hours in surgery trying to save a lorry driver’s leg. Thankfully she is successful and she’s quite glad she wasn’t stubborn and let Serena look out for her last night. She’s just as thankful that after she scrubbed out after surgery that Serena is waiting for her with a hot cup of coffee, a spot of lunch and the offer of another massage on her back that has started to seize up again. She really does have the world’s most amazing girlfriend.


	9. 9. "I Saved A Piece For You"

Serena has been in meetings all day. Bernie knows Serena hates days like this, days where she can’t actually be with her patients. Bernie knows that despite the fact Serena loves her job, she’d much rather be on the ward with her patients than rubbing shoulders with the board.

Bernie herself is more than able to cope with running the ward while Serena is busy and has managed to strike a good balance between seeing to patients and actually completing her own paperwork. Over the time she has spent working on AAU she has come to learn which of the doctors and which of their recurrent locums work well on what cases. She knows which of the F2s are able to cope with the pressure of the trauma bay, with her by their side, of course.

Bernie walks out onto the ward to check on her post op splenectomy patient. She is doing well, if a little sore, so Bernie orders an increase in her pain relief before heading into the staff room. She’d hoped to wait for Serena before celebrating Lou’s birthday but the ward is quiet and Lou’s shift finishes in half an hour and Bernie knows she is desperate to get home.

The rest of the staff follows at her request and by the time Lou walks in, the candles on the cake are already lit. They sing a very out-of-tune “Happy Birthday” before they hand Lou her card and present. She thanks them all enthusiastically and Bernie tells her to slip out a few minutes early but to come back for some cake on her way out of the door.

Bernie doesn’t expect the cake to last long, but she knows it’s one of Serena’s guilty pleasures since they always get the same cake for every staff member and Serena has admitted more than once that she looks forward to birthdays for this reason. Bernie knows if she lets the AAU family get hold of it there will be none left when Serena does finally appear back on AAU.

“Fletch, I think I hear a buzzer ringing. Will you go check on it?” she says quickly, trying to cutting him off at the pass as he makes a b-line for the cake. She instead cuts the first few slices, including one for Lou to take home and a small one for herself since it’s been a busy shift and she can’t say the sugar won’t be appreciated. Finally she cuts an extra large slice for Serena, placing it on a plate along with her own before walking out of the staff room and to their office. 

Fletch catches her halfway across the ward, starting to say, “There was no buzzer going,” but then he catches sight of the plate in her hand. “Serena,” he says with a laugh. Bernie just nods before carrying on towards their office.  
She herself ends up eating her piece to help her through the rest of the paperwork pile on her desk; she really does despise the paperwork. She is just opening the final patient file when the door to their office opens, knowing it’s Serena by the fact there was no knock.

“Hi, you. They finally set you free.”

“Hi, yourself, but, yes, belong to AAU again until next time.” Bernie chuckles, since next time won’t be too long away. She turns her eyes back to the paperwork, knowing there are a few Serena has to attend to herself so there is no point in packing up to go home.

“I guess I missed Lou’s little celebration,” Serena says once she’s sat down opposite Bernie. Bernie finishes typing a sentence onto the computer before replying. “Yes, I’m sorry, her shift was close to over and the ward was quiet.”

Serena sighs and Bernie knows exactly why but can’t help but drag it out just a little longer. “Of all days, I could have just done with a slice of that cake after today.”

“You know what the lads are like, can’t leave food anywhere near them and expect it to be around two minutes later.” Bernie has to keep her eyes fixed on her computer screen as she speaks, as her smile would give her away otherwise.

“Yes, that’s true, but please remind me of this next time either of them ask for a day off.” Bernie risks glancing up and sees Serena rub her hand over her forehead, and knowing it means Serena has a headache, she can’t bring herself to carry on with the teasing any more.

“Well, it’s a good job I saved a piece for you then, isn’t it?” She opens her desk draw to pull out the plate and fork and slides it over to Serena. Bernie watches Serena as her eyes slide down towards the cake, pulling it towards her and taking a rather large piece onto the fork. Their eyes meet just as Serena finishes the first forkful of cake.

“Have I told you how wonderful you are?” Serena asks, a large smile lighting up her eyes.

“Maybe not recently,” Bernie responds cheekily, own eyes sparking with happiness.

“Well, Berenice Griselda Wolfe, you are bloody wonderful, and I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”

Bernie doesn’t know either, but she does know that she is thankful to whatever entity put the two of them together and knows that she will cherish her cake-loving girlfriend for as long as she lives. Just a little longer. “Of all the days, I could have just done with a slice of that cake after today.”

“Yes you know what the lads are like, can’t leave food anywhere near them and expect it to be around two minutes later.” Bernie has to keep her eyes fixed on her computer screen as she speaks, know that her smile would give her away otherwise. 

“Yes, that is true but please remind me of this next time either of them ask for a day off.” Bernie risks glancing up and Serena rubs her hand over her forehead, knows that it means Serena has a headache and can’t bring herself to carry with the teasing any more.

“Well, it’s a good job I saved a piece for you, then isn’t it.” She opens her desk draw pull out the plate and fork and sliding it over the Serena. isn’t it.” She opens her desk draw pull out the plate and fork and sliding it over the Serena. Bernie watches Serena as her eyes slide down towards the cake, pulling it towards her and taking a rather large piece onto the fork. Their eyes meet just as Serena finishes the first forkful of cake.

“Have I told you how wonderful you are,” Serena says, large smile lighting up her eyes.

“Maybe not recently,” Bernie responds cheekily, own eyes sparking with happiness.

“Well Berenice Griselda Wolfe, you are bloody wonderful, and I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.” 

Bernie doesn’t know the answer to that either, but she does know that she is thankful to whatever entity put the two of them together and knows that she will cherish her cake loving girlfriend for as long as she lives.


	10. 10. "Sorry For Your Loss"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit sad and mentions death (original character)

Bernie pulls away from Serena slightly as she hears her phone ringing from her pocket. She frowns slightly at the number she doesn’t recognise on her screen, but it’s not withheld, so she decides to pick it up.

“Hello,” she answers, keen to find out who is on the other end of the phone.

“Hello, I’m looking for Major Wolfe.” Her forehead creases at the title as no one uses it formally now. Fletch and Raf often refer to her as the Major, but in a joking way and not as an official title.

“Speaking, however, it’s Ms. Wolfe; I haven’t gone by Major Wolfe for almost two years,” she says honestly. “May I ask who is speaking?”

“My apologies, Major Wolfe, I should have introduced myself sooner. This is Captain Johnson with the Royal Army Medical Corps.” Well, that explains the formal title. Officially, even in civilian life, she can go by Major or not, but within Army circles, she will always be Major Wolfe, even if she left almost two years prior.

Bernie feels Serena’s eyeing her questioningly and gently rubs Serena’s thigh lying against hers on the sofa. “I’m ringing about Colonel Robinson. I’m sorry to tell you he passed away last night. His wife asked that we inform you.” Bernie isn’t totally sure she can believe the infallible Colonel Robinson is dead.

“How...?” she asks, anything but composed or professional, and if she was still in the Army she’d have been in for a grilling from Colonel Robinson.

“He was in a car accident, died at the scene.” Bernie is at least thankful that he hadn’t suffered.

“Thank you, Captain Johnson. Please pass my condolences onto his wife, and I would request someone inform me once details for his funeral are known.” Bernie doesn’t know much right now, but she knows that Colonel Robinson will get a full military funeral.

“I will ensure that both things happen, Major Wolfe. I am very sorry to have had to contact you in such circumstances.”

The phone clicks off and all of a sudden she feels as if she’s underwater, her ears are ringing and she can’t breathe. She gasps, her breath catching in her throat. Suddenly Serena’s arms are around her, supporting her, offering her comfort when she feels lost, and she allows herself to break.

The tears are hot and heavy, and she knows they are soaking Serena’s shirt, but she doesn’t try to stop them. Bernie just focuses on the gentle rubbing of Serena’s hands against her back, the steady thump of her heartbeat she can hear from where hear ear is resting against her girlfriend’s chest.

She’s not sure how long she cries, and ultimately it doesn’t really matter; she shifts slightly, staying in Serena’s arms.

Finally, a soft “Are you okay?” penetrates her consciousness and Bernie knows that Serena knows she isn’t, but it’s her way of getting her to talk. It’s that little push Bernie still needs to share her feelings verbally.

“No,” she replies honestly, because she isn’t and she never expected a day like this to come. She feels Serena squeeze her arm, and it gives her the strength to continue. “Colonel Robinson was the Lieutenant when I first commissioned. We were in the same regiment of the Medical Corps from that moment until I left. He was the best superior I’ve ever had. He got me through some of my toughest days in the Army and made me a much better person.” Bernie knows it’s true. She would not have been the Major she turned out to be without the influence Colonel Robinson had, and for the most part she’s proud of who that Major was.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Serena says sincerely, hugging her tightly, and Bernie knows she means it. It’s strange in many ways, as Bernie has heard those words come from Serena’s lips so many times, and it is one of the harder parts of their job. But aimed at her they just sound so different. “Can I just say, I understand how hard this is but hold on to all those wonderful memories, the ones that lead you to say what you just did. Colonel Robinson may be gone but all those things you just said about him are still true and if he’s as good of a man as you say, it’s those memories he’d want you to remember him by.” Bernie looks up at Serena and smiles, knowing that everything her girlfriend just said is true, and it’s exactly what Colonel Robinson would want.

Serena’s words are with her two weeks later when she gives the eulogy at Colonel Robinson’s funeral, full of all the poignant memories Bernie has of him: the tough times he helped his troops through in Iraq, the wonderful times they shared on base, the dancing late into the night in the Officer’s mess. And instead of making her sad, it makes her smile at the amazing man she got to call her superior officer and most importantly, her friend.


	11. 11. "You Can Have Half"

They haven’t been together long. The idea of Serena being her girlfriend still fills Bernie with total glee. She isn’t happy that the trauma call has led to her being called in on her day off but she won’t say she’s sorry since it means she may get to see Serena, even if it’s just for a few moments.

She’d been fast asleep when her pager rang at 5am, and even she is capable of sleeping longer than that. There’s no telling why they chose her over Serena (who was due in at 8am anyway) because as amazing as Serena is, she doesn’t have the same trauma experience Bernie does. And she certainly doesn’t have the experience dealing with a blast injuries the way Bernie does. They’re slightly different, injuries from a gas explosion instead of an IED, but the principles are very similar. 

The scans had suggested abdominal perforation, and the emergency laparotomy had shown multiple large tears to the bowel. Bernie had spent well over five hours in surgery. The woman, 54 years old, had pulled through but Bernie knows she’s far from out of the woods since she also suffered a broken leg and arm as a result of being thrown backwards by the blast. Bernie knows better than anyone that there is a potential for further injuries to appear in the next 24 to 48 hours.

She’s just getting ready to head home, planning to stop by Pulses to get some much needed lunch, when the trauma phone rings again: A pedestrian hit by a car ETA 20 minutes, multiple traumas and they’ll need the expertise of both her and Serena. Bernie knows all hope of getting lunch are trashed so instead she decides to head into the office to inform Serena on the details of the incoming patient. 

“Hello, you, I didn’t think I’d be seeing you today,” Serena says as Bernie slides the door closed. Bernie can’t help but smile at the sight of her girlfriend. 

“Didn’t plan on coming in, but the trauma phone had other ideas. And it seems it still has even more ideas, incoming PMVT with an ETA of 20 minutes,” Bernie reports as she walks towards her desk. She may as well at least catch a ten-minute sit down. 

“I’m guessing that means both of us are needed in surgery?” Serena asks, looking up from the paperwork she had gone back to. 

“We are. We’re good, but I don’t think either of us would be good enough for this on our own.” They do make a good team both in and out of theatre. 

“Guess I best stop this paperwork and actually eat some lunch then,” Serena says pulling her lunch out of her desk draw. 

Bernie can’t help but watch as Serena moves the baguette towards her mouth. Her tummy rumbles but thankfully not loud enough for Serena to hear. But just before Serena takes a bite, she stops. 

“Wait, have you eaten? Weren’t you called in at like 5am?” 

“It’s fine, I’ll grab a take out on the way home.” It won’t be the first time Bernie has been without food. Three meals a day didn’t always happen in the field. 

“You think I’d let my girlfriend go into surgery hungry?” Bernie’s face beams at the word coming from Serena’s lips. “Come on over here, you can have half.”

Bernie’s stomach rumbles again as she watches Serena break the baguette in two. She decides against arguing since she can think of many better ways to spend the 15 minutes they have left before surgery, like sharing a cheese salad baguette and crisps with her girlfriend. So, that’s exactly what she does.


	12. 12. Take My Jacket It's Cold Outside

The words coming from Serena startle Bernie since she hadn’t even realised she is in the office with her. She turns around in her seat to see her girlfriend standing by their coat rack.

“Sorry?” Bernie asks, not quite sure she knows what Serena is talking about.

“You and I both know you are about to take the next five minutes up on the roof having a cigarette,” Serena says as she walks over and perches herself on the edge of Bernie’s desk so their knees knock together gently. “I also know that a patient was sick on you within minutes of you walking onto the ward, still wearing your coat. It’s December, and as much as you might want to pretend you’d be okay, I don’t fancy you getting a cold for the sake of a cigarette, so take my jacket.”

“But you hate your clothes smelling of smoke. You and I both know you don’t exactly like my habit, you just put up with it because it’s who I am and you don’t see the point in moaning at me about something you know won’t change.”

“Sweetheart,” Serena says gently, leaning forward and gently taking hold of her hand. “You and I both know you’ve had a rough day. You are currently fighting with both the CT and MRI teams as well as chasing three separate sets of bloods from the lab. As you said, we both know I’m not a big fan of you smoking but that I can’t change it. Right now I know you need five minutes outside and a way of de-stressing. So as your girlfriend, I want you to take my jacket. It’s cold outside and I don’t want you getting poorly.”

“Thank you.” Bernie says softly, squeezing Serena’s hand before letting go to allow herself to extract her packet of cigarettes from her desk draw.

She stands and as she does, Serena has already grabbed the jacket and is holding it out to her. She leans in to kiss her as she takes it, making sure Serena does understand that she appreciates it. She puts the jacket on and doesn’t hang around after that, knowing it won’t stay quiet on the ward for long, and that she’s got phone calls to make to actually get her patients the tests and care they need.

“Just make sure you wash my jacket along with yours!” she hears Serena yell as the office door closes, and chooses to let it fill her face with one of the first smiles of the day. Even on the rubbish days, her girlfriend can’t fail to make her smile.


End file.
